We are no longer a democracy. We are an oil-garchy.

There is so much dirty money from oil lobbyists that it's washing up on the Louisiana shore.

TONY HAYWARD - FORMER BP CEO LAMENTS...

"I want the rest of my head back..."

How's that 21st Century working out for ya so far, Sarah?

"Still wonderin' why the Gulf Coast vacation package was so cheap, Roy-Bob?"

"Here's three reasons you should trust me..."

Here we see the hole that Senator Barton has dug himself into.

Dick Cheney had his sixth heart attack recently and his healthcare provider dropped his coverage. Apparently, being evil is considered a pre-existing condition.

"Alright look, I'm just an actor! I needed the money. Play the CEO of BP? Why not? The greatest role of my career, and then my series of wells gets cancelled. I got a grey hair from all the stress..."