The bailout is working, America.

The Four Hoarse Men of the Apocalypse.

"We sentence you for the crime of distracting the public during the greatest crisis this nation has faced in decades!"

"If you see Paul Bunyon, tell him we'd like to speak to him."

"And for our next trick... She's going to sit down and make me disappear!"

"Yeah, Wall street just swept in and took everything."

"Call me after John goes to bed... around 6:30pm..."

GOD APPEARS, FOLLOWERS DISAPPOINTED.

Blind javelin throwing proved to be a really bad idea.

ROBOT PET CAN RUB ASS ALONG YOUR CARPET

"Tired of having your dog hump our leg at parties? Then you need FiFi, the realistic canine love doll. She's made of durable Kevlar and can take a lot of punishment - FiFi, she's a BAD DOGGIE!"