PALIN'S ON FOX! - "WE'RE HAIR and BALANCED"

"I'm not a pundit. I'm a cundit!"

Due to his racist remarks, 37 sponsors for the Glenn Beck Show have pulled out... If only Beck's dad had done that.

"Hey, you guys go through the same bullshit at the airport."

"Oh, it's just a little hole in the wall, but I call it home."

"It's Citicorp's new mascot. We named him, Banksta."

"I don't have to wear one of those Frisbee things on my head, do I, Joe?"

"I was licking FiFi's ass and my tongue stuck."

Young Shaolin Monks train in American martial arts.

Here we see a dangerous terrorist going through the brand new Granny-Scanner.

All-time home run king, Mark McGwire, admitted to steroid use. The Baseball Commission has now placed a huge, puffed-up asterisk next to his record.